I wrote this piece many years before I met Jamie, but for me he gave all these things & much more. It was also read at his funeral by my dear friend DK. I want to feel loved, wanted & special. I want to be held, kissed & touched as though I'm the only thing that's keeping the other person alive. I want to be held at night when my nightmares start by someone who I know loves me for me, & not for their own satisfaction. Someone to wipe the tears away when life becomes unbearable & I just can't can't go on. Someone to talk to & understand, to hold my hand or put their arms around me, to believe in me. I want people to accept me for what I am & not judge me. I need to feel fulfilled. Please let me be me & let me be happy. I need to see the sun rise in the morning & feel it's warmth upon my skin. To feel the breeze gently blowing round me. The rain to fall on my face & hide the tears that I so often shed. I want to be able to give someone else the same as I want for myself. I want to love & be loved. Most of all I want to be free. Free of the nightmares, the guilt, the shame, but most of all... me. Lexi Hylton 1998